Our life stories matter and, if we will take the time to share with others and lean in and really listen, we will discover our communities being transformed from the inside out! In my first chapel of the year at BCS, I spoke on what transparent and authentic “life in community” looks like as we see the value, significance, and worth of each classmate uniquely made in the image of God.
In preparation for this chapel, I shared with the seniors this theme on their senior retreat and asked if any would consider sharing a few words that would depict part of their life story. I was overwhelmed as over 50 students shared “captions” of their personal life story. After selecting over a dozen of their “captions”, we shot this two-minute video to show at the end of chapel. My prayer continues to be that just as our seniors were willing to drop their guard and step out from behind walls that other students would feel the freedom to do the same. May Briarwood Christian School become more and more a haven of grace where authentic community is encouraged and embraced for the glory of God through the hope we have in Christ to take the brokenness of life and make it beautiful! Enjoy the attached two-minute video - “BCS Authentic Community”. (The words on the screen are the words seniors chose to share about their personal life stories.)
Following our opening football game of the season, fans may have left the stadium a bit disappointed by the storyline the scoreboard told. However, the night nor the storyline for the evening was complete! It wasn't until two days later that the rest of the story was revealed to me as the band booster president from the opposing school shared the following with me:
“I am writing to commend two of your students for the character they displayed after the BCS-Chelsea football game on Friday night.
Once the crowd was gone, two other band parents and I went to the Visitors’ side to pick up trash and clean the bleachers. When we got there, two of your students, (two girl’s names omitted) were already picking up trash. We did not know either of them and expected them to leave once we arrived, but instead, they apologized for the mess left behind and continued to pick up trash. Despite the fact that all of the other BCS students and fans were long gone, they stayed and helped us until all of the trash was bagged up, at which point they asked if there was anything else they could do to help us. We truly appreciated their help and were impressed with the character and kindness they showed when no one was looking.”
Upon receiving this note, I wrote a letter of commendation to these two young ladies and here was part of the response from one of the girls:
“Earlier Friday I had heard a few things about (students from the other school) saying we were hypocrites. Hearing that discouraged me, so I just felt led to do whatever it took to show them what Christ is like, NOT me. I don't deserve any notice for this, I believe this was simply an opportunity to show how Christ loves.”
WOW! What a sweet response of love. I was so impressed with both the act and response that, at the conclusion of our service chapel on Thursday, I shared this story with the high school student body. Their response to this event gave me yet another glimpse into the heartbeat of our students as they broke out into spontaneous applause.
I told students that I was challenged and motivated by the action and response of these girls and that I would be found cleaning the trash in the bleachers following the game (last night). I asked if there might be five or ten students willing to join me in this effort. Almost instantaneously well over 200 students jumped to their feet causing me to blurt out, “Now that’s a movement!”
While this past Friday night’s football victory was decisive, what happened after the game was even more special than what happened on the field of play. As the game ended, students poured out of the stands to grab trash bags from me and our dean of discipleship-- so much so that we ran out of trash bags to hand out. Within moments, both sides of the stadium were cleaned as students enthusiastically bent over and picked up other people’s trash.
Our dean of discipleship reported that when he took a group of students over to the visitors’ side of the field, the opposing parents asked if these students were in trouble or how we assigned students this job. When he simply said, “No, they volunteered,” the parents were shocked at his response. But isn’t that what selfless love in a self-centered world does after all?
Students were excited to see that in less than 10 minutes, the whole stadium was cleaned up. They have agreed to do this at each football game, both home AND away. In fact, two guys quickly volunteered to be the “captains of trash collecting” at home AND away games. Thursday night, before the game, I had another young man email me and say, “You can count on me to be at every game picking up trash.” Last night, he was one of the last to leave the stadium until it was completely clean! After sharing this story with our BCS parents, one emailed me and said, "I now understand why my daughter was so excited to bring a trash bag to the football game!"
The heap of trash tells a beautiful story that actually has very little to do with picking up trash but instead is reflective of the hearts of a community of high students that willingly and joyfully responded to serve as an overflow of their love for Christ! “Therefore, I urge you, brothers and sisters, in view of God’s mercy, to offer your bodies as a living sacrifice, holy and pleasing to God—this is your true and proper worship.” (Romans 12:1)
Tomorrow, my oldest son, Josh, leaves for Covenant College. With his approaching departure, it has become common for people to ask if I will miss him. As his father, I of course will miss not having him around. However, the reality is that as high school principal, it is not just my son heading off to college, but also 132 of "my BCS sons and daughters" from the class of 2016. As they join countless other college freshmen around the country, I felt an urge to write and then send the following letter to each of them. This may be of some encouragement and challenge to other sons and daughters that will be embarking on a new journey to the college or university that the Lord is calling them to attend.
Stress, demands, pressures, fatigue, long hours, sleep deprivation, confrontation, worn, overworked, burdened, strained, criticism, tested, noise, confusion, misunderstood, misconstrued, misrepresented, lonely, rejected, abandoned, ignored, suffering, sacrifice, hated, burdened…shall I continue? Do any or many of these words strike eerily close to home for wounds that have been inflicted upon your heart and life over the years? Or does the answer “all the above” apply to you? If so, you had better keep on reading, knowing that you stand in great company, as such words often marked the life of Jesus, his disciples and the cost of being a follower of His. After all, Jesus said, “Any one of you who does not renounce all that he has cannot be my disciple.” (Luke 14:33) So how does one respond to the intensity of life that often presses in? Let's look at how Jesus responded to these daily intense pressures.
• And having sent away the crowds, he went up on the mountain to pray privately. And when evening came, he was there alone. –Matthew 14:23
• And very early in the morning when it was still quite dark, Jesus rose up, left the house, and went out to a lonely place, and there he prayed. –Mark 1:3
• But he retired into the wilderness and prayed. –Luke 5:16
• In those days he went out to the mountain to pray; and he spent the whole night in prayer with God. – Luke 6:12
Notice that the getting away was not to simply “unplug” or to disengage but instead He stepped away for deliberate refueling before re-engaging. No iPhone, no music, no TV, no remote, no multi-tasking, no people, no distraction. Notice how Jesus was focused and single-minded as He intentionally sought out seclusion and silence for exclusivity with His Father.
Jesus’ rhythm of life was intense ministry and then He would withdraw to pray as He “refueled to re-engage” prior to resuming another period of intense ministry. Too often we are “red-lining” it, coming dangerously close to stalling out as we attempt to run on fumes. This is not sustainable nor is it healthy in any regard. If Jesus needed to step away to refocus and refuel by spending deep-abiding, intentional time with His Father, then our lives ought to mirror the One we are to be imaging.
Reflect on a few of these questions to help you refocus and reengage!
1. First ask yourself, what difference would a refueled, refreshed and reenergized YOU make to your important relationships?
2. Be honest...what do you do when you are exhausted, the demands are too high and you feel worn?
3. What is the “urgent” that presses in that can be dismissed to focus on the important?
4. How might following Jesus’ rhythm of ministry transform your life? After all, if you ever expect to image the King, then you need to spend time with Him!
“But encourage one another daily, as long as it is called TODAY…” - Hebrews 3:12
One of my most favorite times of the year is just around the corner! It’s when the school doors are flung open wide and my nearly 600 high school students come pouring into the school building to greet friends, welcome new students and share of the summer escapades. The synergy is electrifying!
I have come to believe that for students, high school life is often correctly characterized by Charles Dicken’s opening line in “A Tale of Two Cities” when he said, “It was the best of times, it was the worst of times…” While I love being a high school principal, I have not met many adults who wish to return to their teen years, as most would agree with the simple fact that “life is hard,” let alone life back in high school! While a new school year is exciting, it doesn’t take long before the “grind” begins and the struggle, anxiety, pain, frustration and wounding that inevitably arrives at many students’ doorsteps will come to light. The brokenness of this life cannot be avoided; but I do believe there is another way. It is possible to soften the blow and make life more bearable and even enjoyable!
To begin to uncover the answer, we must go back to when the world was perfect and God gave Adam his wife, Eve, because He said, “It was not good for man to be alone.” This is the first sign we are given that we NEED others in our lives! We were never meant to try and go at life alone. When Jesus invites us into His story, this relationship is vital and life giving...but the story gets even better as we are invited to join with a community of believers. Our faith was never meant to be individualized and privatized, but it must be rooted both in vertical community (between God and His people) and in horizontal community (among groups of Christians).
This sounds good at the onset, but here is where things get messy in high school and in Christian communities in general. The moment we really lean in and become vulnerable and honest, what quickly happens is that fear, pride and brokenness are either felt or revealed. It is then that too many recoil and withdraw from this community. For years I have watched good Christian kids play the part to try and get it right, but all the while reservedly holding back, hiding and faking that all is fine when of course it is not! Who really is fine after all? I’m not! What a weight we ask our young people to carry! This is not reasonable! Life isn’t fine, it is hard and yet young people are so afraid that if the truth came out on them, that they wouldn’t be accepted, welcomed, valued or affirmed. I have known so many teens over the years that would have loved to have confessed, “I smoked” or “I drank” or “I had sex,” or to simply say, “I feel a lot of pressure to perform and I’m pretty sure I can’t keep it up!”
If you have ever been around someone like this, words really don’t have to be spoken. If you will just stop and look for a moment, you can see it in their eyes. It happens when their “emotional cup” is full and about to run over, when the pressure is just too much. This year, like my past 23 years as an educator, I will ask a student if they are doing well and they will nod, or flash a fake smile, but I can see this is not true, for their eyes betray them and tell a different story. They are really crying out, “Who will be my friend?” “Am I important to you or anyone?” “Where is my significance? Is significance wrapped up in my success or lack thereof?” “Do I have any value?” “Will someone notice me?” “Am I worthy of anyone’s time, attention or affection?” Gentle pressing will cause the tears to begin to flow and then words of hurt, pain and sadness follow.
Today it hit me that so much of my life has been to climb a ladder: academic degrees, certifications, athletic championships, positions...just like I was trained to do...and like I am training students to do...as parents expect us to do! We challenge them to climb the ladder academically in the classes they take, their grade point average, their class rank, their ACT score, to win championships, to run for class office, to engage in a myriad of extra-curricular activities so their college resume is second to none. So they climb and climb and climb and when they climb that ladder better than anyone else, we applaud them and lift them even higher. At this point, who is really going to be honest and admit weakness or struggle?
All my life I have been extremely competitive and even enjoy climbing, BUT I am beginning to think that climbing detracts from communing. It is not in all of my goodness, that Scripture refers to as “filthy rags,” but in my poverty or great need that I meet Jesus and experience the presence of God. In places of poverty or situations of great struggle and pain, we see Jesus kneeling down in the dirt with the leper, the poor, the weak, the children, the publican, the poor in spirit. This is where Jesus seemed most at home. In fact, according to what I read in Scripture, Jesus seems to be doing a lot of hanging out at the bottom rung of the ladder. I should note that “climbing” and achieving is not an inherent evil and can actually be a great thing. But it also is the very thing that has been the downfall of great men and nations as competition and achievement can turn to idolatry and the pursuit of “lesser gods.”
While not a good school marketing pitch, I do wonder what our school would look like if our school community was more defined by being at the bottom of the ladder where Jesus regularly seemed to go. I believe a community that is more focused on what I'll refer to as the “ascent downward,” where greatest means least and first means last and strength means service, will then possibly begin to realize that:
My vision and my hope and prayer is these will be marks of our christian school community this year. Should we embrace these principles, I believe that students’ lives will be transformed and God’s kingdom will be advanced for “as long as it is called TODAY!”
(Refer to We Became Men and Ch. 8 “The Pressure of Performance” for further reading on this topic. I have seen countless men and women, young and old, paralyzed by this pressure - but it doesn’t have to be this way!)
Written by: Shawn Brower. 7/31/16